Questions
Okay, I don't actually hate questions. In fact, I love questions. Questions are very open people, unlike their neighbors, statements. Statements just tell you, they never listen. I do, however, hate when people ask questions and they don't want the answer (a rhetorical question that doesn't come off as a rhetorical question).
"How are you doing?"
"Pretty bad, actually."
"Oh... um..."
See? Most of the time, most people don't want to know [i]how you are doing[/i]. They want you to tell them that they are doing well. Any other response is basically killing the conversation before it truly begins.
This annoys me a lot (hence it being a pet peeve). But as I am not one to give into other's flimsy, faulty, whims (or my own, flimsy, faulty, whims, for that matter.) I don't just tell people what they want to hear "Great, thanks! Yourself?". But I'm not a drama queen, so I don't want to walk around saying I feel terrible. I just stick to a very non-committal "fine." Even when I'm having a good day.
And that's also why I don't typically ask how other people are doing. I know that it's impolite, but if I don't ask you how you're doing, then I really, truly, don't care. (Or I figure, you're talking to me and sound normal, so you must be okay, at least.) So if I don't care about the answer, why waste the breath asking?
So I guess my pet peeve is neither questions nor rhetorical non-rhetorical questions. It's probably when people ask the wrong question.
"Will you tell me you're doing well?"
"Sure."
"How're you?"
"Well, you?"
And all the parenthesis you see in this (or other) posts basically display my internal monologues for all to see. THAT is why I can't make a short blog post. Or a short anything post, really.
"How are you doing?"
"Pretty bad, actually."
"Oh... um..."
See? Most of the time, most people don't want to know [i]how you are doing[/i]. They want you to tell them that they are doing well. Any other response is basically killing the conversation before it truly begins.
This annoys me a lot (hence it being a pet peeve). But as I am not one to give into other's flimsy, faulty, whims (or my own, flimsy, faulty, whims, for that matter.) I don't just tell people what they want to hear "Great, thanks! Yourself?". But I'm not a drama queen, so I don't want to walk around saying I feel terrible. I just stick to a very non-committal "fine." Even when I'm having a good day.
And that's also why I don't typically ask how other people are doing. I know that it's impolite, but if I don't ask you how you're doing, then I really, truly, don't care. (Or I figure, you're talking to me and sound normal, so you must be okay, at least.) So if I don't care about the answer, why waste the breath asking?
So I guess my pet peeve is neither questions nor rhetorical non-rhetorical questions. It's probably when people ask the wrong question.
"Will you tell me you're doing well?"
"Sure."
"How're you?"
"Well, you?"
And all the parenthesis you see in this (or other) posts basically display my internal monologues for all to see. THAT is why I can't make a short blog post. Or a short anything post, really.
Darling Alexz, It's an acceptable social greeting, not a rhetorical question per se. People aren't being rude, they're just using the language the way they've learned to use the language all their lives.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I cannot NOT answer the question "How are you?" truthfully. If I'm feeling bad, I cannot say "Fine; you?" I'm not equipped. Sounds like you aren't, either.
Also, when I ask someone "How are you?"--I really do want to know the answer. I'm weird that way.
P.S. I love your blog.